How this whole thing got started.

Dear _________,

I’ve made a commitment to perform the spiritual practice of tithing as it is described in the book, “The Four Spiritual Laws of Prosperity” by Edwene Gaines. The practice consists of tithing 1/10 of any monetary income back out to an institution, organization or person that has fed you spiritually.

(At this point I will go into detail for the specific recipient as to why she/he specifically is receiving this particular tithe.)

As mentioned in the above letter excerpt, I’ve just learned about tithing in this new way through Lisa Sasevich, Edwene Gaines and Helen Kim.

Recently I began a marketing class with Lisa Sasevich, trying to learn a new way to get my message out about healing your life by going within. In listening to the first DVD of the course, there were several times when Lisa mentioned a book written by Edwene Gaines, “The 4 Spiritual Laws of Prosperity” and in particular the concept of tithing and how it changed her life.

Now let me just say that, growing up as a good Southern Baptist girl, I’ve been hearing about tithing since before I could walk! So I thought to myself, blah, blah, blah, I’ve been practicing tithing off and on for 40 some-odd years and I’ve never seen any particular magic from it, except that it made me feel good about myself. Not sure that was the point.

Needless to say, I thought I knew all the ins and outs of tithing, so I was ready for Lisa to move on to something that I could really sink my teeth into. It was not to be. Every two minutes it seemed, it was Edwene this and tithing that and well, you get the picture. But by now instead of being annoyed, I was intrigued and wanted to know more.

Being an avid reader I decided that I MUST get this book and find out for myself just what all the fuss was about. There were only two problems: 1. I’d blown my monthly budget on Lisa’s course in the first place and 2. I had more books in the “To Be Read” pile than I could possibly read in two lifetimes, much less this one. So as insistent as the urge was to get this information ASAP, I decided to table this idea for now.

At this juncture I need to tell you that this wonderful course that I am now taking from Lisa was recorded six months ago at a live event in San Diego. With that in mind, remember that I started listening to the class yesterday.

Today, I received in my inbox, a gift from Lisa of a recently recorded interview of, none other than Edwene Gaines talking about the concept of tithing! Come to find out, Lisa’s friend Helen Kim spent the last four weeks recording interviews with Edwene on each of the spiritual laws outlined in her book. So here was the very information I so desperately wanted, but could not afford and did not have time to read, given to me FOR FREE and in an audio format that I could take on the go!!! Talk about “Ask and it is given…”

This interview blew me away. It answered for me many long standing questions I’ve had about this concept of tithing and why it never felt joyful to me. For I had rarely reached the “…God loves a cheerful giver” feeling, except when I gave directly to someone or something that had touched my soul. Turns out, that was exactly the point! Now I can’t wait to tithe. I’ve already sent out my first “new” tithe and I couldn’t be more thrilled.

So today, as I’m outing myself and my new spiritual practice, I invite you to see if it resonates with you. Who knows, maybe we’ll create a whole new economy based on kissing the hand that feeds us rather than biting it!

Once again, to learn about tithing or any of the other 4 Spiritual Laws of Prosperity follow this link to access the interview mp3s or buy the book below.

See larger image The Four Spiritual Laws of Prosperity: A Simple Guide to Unlimited Abundance (Hardcover) By (author) Edwene Gaines List Price: $19.95 USD New From: $6.70 In Stock Used from: $8.95 In Stock Release date August 11, 2005.

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This youtube video was sent to me recently by a friend. Just had to share it because it poetically expresses the way I feel as I approach an empty nest. Katrina Kenison sure got it right with this one. Brilliant writing.

Enjoy,

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Yesterday, my neighbor dropped dead of a heart attack. He was not an old man or a sick man, but rather a middle aged, vibrant man that I had just seen the day before walking around the block, then stopping in front of my house to pick up his mail. At 7:00 PM last evening, he was fine. At 7:05, he was gone. That fast.

We all know death comes in an instant, but seeing it happen before your eyes, drives the point home in a new way. I’ll never forget the image of his lifeless body being wheeled out on the stretcher, while his wife sat in the front seat of the ambulance—waiting.

He and I have had but a few interactions over the years and most revolved around his distain for an eyesore of a bike park that my son built in the backyard. In fact my neighbor’s last words to me, delivered in my living room, were something to the effect of “I don’t think I’ll be able to speak to you or wave to you, if I have to look at ‘that thing’ for the next three years.” That was two years ago.

Why three years? Because my son was 16 at the time of the offensive construction project and I promised the neighbors that it would be removed once my son went away to college.

For obvious reasons I am so sad that my neighbor is gone, and I’m sad he didn’t live to see the removal of the structure that upset him so. But I also wonder, if he had known then, what I know now, would it all have mattered so much?

That question keeps ringing in my ear. You see just last week, I spent way too much time in an upset and angry mood about just about everything. Happens to me sometimes and I’ve come up with a mantra for the feeling…”I’m pissed off about nothing in particular and everything in general.” But unwittingly my neighbor has provided me with a wake up call, which I now share with you.

Death comes in an instant, make sure all the moments before are good ones.

After all, most of the things we spend our time fretting about, don’t really matter, do they?

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Santa is not the only one who needs to make a list and check it twice. That is something I am currently doing myself. And it’s not in relation to buying Christmas gifts. This year, as I have been involved in taking my business to the next level, I have arrived at a place I’m not sure I wanted to be…The Land of Overwhelm. I’m one of those people who LOVES most ideas in the moment I hear them and signs up immediately, only to wake up the next day asking, “What was I thinking?”

Have you had this experience? Do you say yes to too many things at once and then curse all the project details as you run around like a chicken with it’s head cut off trying to actually accomplish all the items you’ve stuffed onto your To Do list?

Maybe I’m the only one with this habit, but I think probably not. So here’s what I’m doing to remedy my current state of overscheduled delirium. I’m getting quiet—really quiet. I’m getting back to the practice of taking a DEEP breath, tuning into my body and getting my answers from my inner guidance system, rather than from my head, which seems to have no off switch lately!

It may seem counter intuitive to stop doing just when you have many more things to do, but that is precisely the point. When doing stops working, it is time to BE. Actually it is always most helpful to BE first, then you won’t get into a state of over-DOING.

So join me, won’t you?

Stop, breathe, and make a new list. This time only include the items that are in alignment with your body’s wisdom, which takes cues directly from your soul. As one of my mentors, Life Coach Michelle Woodward told me yesterday, give To Do list items the 24-hour test. When you hear the “next big idea,” put off deciding about it for 24-hours.

Giving yourself a break between hearing and committing, allows time to check in with your body compass.

When you check with your body, does the idea of saying yes to this or that project feel burdensome or freeing? Let that be your guide. From that centeredness, everything will fall into place, EXACTLY as is best.

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What are you thankful for? How many times have you heard that question and heard people tell of the wonders of keeping a gratitude journal? I agree this is a wonderful and transformative practice, but I’d like to see you (and me) take it up a notch.

It can be easy to rattle off 10 things you’re grateful for and after all, “Tis the Season.” With next week ushering in the big day, I thought I’d encourage you to take it a step further (maybe deeper is a better descriptive).

During this season of Thanksgiving, instead of making a simple list or stating a few platitudes, “I’m so grateful for blah, blah, blah,” why not express that gratitude from the deeper core of you?

How, you ask? Well it all starts with getting in touch with the feeling.

Start right now. Close your eyes (unless you’re driving, of course, or otherwise operating heavy machinery) and call up a memory of an event, person or place that floods you with the feeling of gratitude. Maybe you’ll be transported back to a sunset from your beach vacation, to the birth of a healthy child, to the day you got a test result that came back negative, or to the soft touch of your loved ones hand on your face. Revel in the deliciousness of how overpowering it is to feel truly grateful for these moments in your life.

Let it fill your heart, mind, body and soul, as you drink in every last detail of this emotion.

Now opening your eyes, carry that feeling with you throughout the day, and through the rest of this week, and into the next. And out of that feeling, take action.

What action? The simple act of expression.

Before you say thanks off handedly to the waitperson that tops off your coffee, or the cashier who rings you out at the grocery store, transport yourself back to that memory from the exercise above and bring up that deep feeling of gratefulness. Then from that place, express your thanks. The power of your words and the feeling shared with the other person from this energy place will be much greater. And each time you call up that energy of gratitude, you’ll take the simple act of saying thank you to a whole new level, not only for someone else, but also for yourself.

And from that place I’d like to close with a sincere thank you to you for reading, commenting and sharing these posts with others. May your hearts be filled with gratitude and love during this season of Thanksgiving.

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I know many of you are way too young to remember where that slogan came from, but that is neither here nor there. I bring it up because recently, a friend from childhood said it to me (minus the “Baby” part) in reference to how much I have changed, from the girl I used to be growing up in the rural South.

Don’t misunderstand; there’s nothing wrong with growing up in the rural South. In fact, I have many fine memories of childhood there. But it has been the mission of my adult life to expand, to learn, and to grow beyond the boundaries of my youth.

Every childhood, no matter how privileged or impoverished, has its confines. All of us are taught a set of beliefs or behaviors that we live by and all too often never question. One of my favorite quotes is by Socrates, “The unexamined life is not worth living.” And this, I truly believe.

How can you know who you really are, or set about creating a life you love, if you never examine the box that your early experiences (substitute your corporate culture, your social standing, your friends and neighbors, your spouse) built for you?

So in reflecting on this comment made by my friend from the past, I was delighted. There are many ways to take such a statement, but I took it as a very high compliment, an achievement to be proud of, and a true measure of success.

So I’m curious to know, how about you?

How have you changed from the person you were in childhood, 10 years ago, last month? Are you more loving, less jealous of the accomplishments of your friends, in better health, gentler toward yourself and others, more well read, less stingy, more grounded, less judgmental, better able to walk a mile in someone else’s shoes?

Or are you stuck in the same old habits of thought that keep you playing small?

Open up your life to all that is possible for you. Step out of your box and bring forth the gifts only you can share.

The world is waiting.

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I have a close relation—very close. Let’s call her miserable, I mean Miss E. Rable. For a period of time before I received THE BEST ADVICE ON THE PLANET, Miss E. Rable frequently visited her misery on me. I can just hear Dr. Phil now, “We teach people how to treat us.” These days I get that, but before I received THE BEST ADVICE ON THE PLANET, I didn’t understand that I had any way to stop Miss E. from making her frequent visits and otherwise ruining my day.

Do you have people like this in your life?

Miss Rable is the type who constantly turns to you for advice, but doesn’t actually want your help. All she really wants is someone to listen to her complain—the “misery loves company” type. You know the ones I mean, they can be male or female and every time caller ID shows up with their number, you cringe or secretly pretend you can’t find the phone. Don’t deny it, I know I’m not the only one who has these callers on the line. I’m talking about the person whose voice sounds like fingernails on the chalkboard in your otherwise quiet and peaceful life. And to make matters worse, on those rare occasions when they do actually ask for your advice…they listen only briefly, before butting in to tell you six ways from Sunday how your approach just won’t work. This sort of scenario used to drive me NUTS!

Then one day a wise advisor (okay, she was my coach) gave me THE BEST ADVICE ON THE PLANET. She said “When this person, begins her diatribe about how miserable her life is and cries, ‘Whatever shall I do?’ instead of wringing your hands along with her, just say to yourself, ‘Her baby is crying.’” At the time having just had a baby myself, this was an easy concept to grasp. For as a new mother, I wouldn’t have considered handing my precious baby off for someone else to care for. And that was just the point. Miss E.’s latest tale of whoa was just that…her baby/problem and she needed to tend to it herself.

What an epiphany for me!

All of the sudden I realized that I was no longer responsible for making everything okay for Miss E. Rable and by having this clear thought in my head, “Her baby is crying.” I could walk away in peace, giving my relative time and space to care for her baby as only she knew best how to do. Mind you, I didn’t actually get up and walk away from said close relation, but rather I did a mental dash right back into my own business and out of the role of being her savior.

This trick also works when you encounter folks who repeatedly like to make you the responsible party for all things wrong in their life. Maybe for you it’s also a relative, or a co-worker, one of your children, or maybe even your spouse/partner (heaven forbid!) The same internal dialogue works perfectly.

Your precious child says, “You didn’t wake me up in time, that’s why I’m late.” His baby’s crying.

Your sister complains, “It’s not fair, you’ve always been Mom and Dad’s favorite.” Her baby’s crying.

Your co-worker huffs, “Well, if I wasn’t the only one who worked in this place”…say it with me now, “His baby’s crying.”

Try it the next time someone is complaining to you for the one hundredth time, but refuses to actually make any changes in their own behavior. Don’t get me wrong, obviously there are many times when our friends and loved ones really do need our comfort and care and a shoulder to cry on. That’s not the situation to which I refer. I’m talking about someone who, like I said earlier, complains and complains with no intention of doing anything to change their circumstances or better yet change their thoughts that created the circumstances in the first place. It’s perfectly fine if they want to keep creating the same misery over and over again in their own life, it is after all their life; but I was making myself miserable right along with her.

I’d be driving along in my car on my way to the grocery store and thinking about poor little Miss Rable…what to do, what to do to help her? Get out of her business, I say to myself now.

As Byron Katie likes to say, there are 3 kinds of business: mine, yours and God’s. After receiving THE BEST ADVICE ON THE PLANET and realizing that my relative’s “baby” crying did not have to create a crisis in my life, I firmly stepped out of her business and planted my feet squarely back in my own, exactly where I belong.

And the funny thing is, when I stopped trying to handle her “baby” for her, Miss E. Rable had no choice but to learn to handle her “baby” herself or find another babysitter, like the old me to hand it off to. But either way, I was free. Free to think about my own baby–both the literal one I’d just birthed and the many figurative ones still left crying in my own head.

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Apparently Marie Claire magazine, at least according to the TODAY Show interview I saw this morning. Marie Claire has published a story in their latest issue, about women who smoke pot on a regular basis as a form of stress reduction. The Book Editor in the TODAY Show segment reported that she smoked a joint often rather than drinking wine. When I visited the TODAY Show website for more info the headline for the story was “Professionals smoking pot: Cool or taboo?” How about “Dumb or Dumber?” Sorry I meant to say “Healthy or Unhealthy?” Obviously, I realize that I am surely pressing someone’s hot buttons here, but have we forgotten about the health risk of such behavior? I know that there are many angles from which to debate the pros & cons of marijuana use, but as a Wellness Coach I must surely look at it from the perspective of its effects on a person’s health.

When I checked the NIDA (National Institute on Drug Abuse) website I found this information:

Effects on Lungs:

…marijuana smokers can have many of the same respiratory problems as tobacco smokers, such as daily cough and phlegm production, more frequent acute chest illness, and a heightened risk of lung infections.

Effects on the Brain:

… Research has shown that marijuana’s adverse impact on learning and memory can last for days or weeks after the acute effects of the drug wear off.² As a result, someone who smokes marijuana every day may be functioning at a suboptimal intellectual level all of the time.

I don’t know about you, but I need all the brain cells I can get firing at an optimum level at all times. And I hope the many people who make critical decisions at their jobs everyday that affect my life and yours, feel the same way.

Responders to the TODAY Show pole about the subject voted 88.3% for this answer,

“Oh honestly, who cares? The taboo around pot-smoking dissipated ages ago, and this is a completely private and personal matter.”

I get that, but again from a wellness perspective I also get that people like to eat fried oreos over apples, but I don’t suggest that on a regular basis either. To me the point is this. Aren’t there better, more effective and healthful ways to “get your relaxation on”? If life is so stressful, and I know from talking to my clients that it is for many people right now, is introducing a potentially problematic substance—be it marijuana, ice cream or wine into your daily routine the best solution to the problem? I’m just saying…how about the tried and true avenues of meditation, exercise, service to others, reading, and I could go on and on. Seems to me that the issue is not how we’re “medicating” ourselves, but rather the fact that we are treating the symptoms not the problem. If stress is your problem, find long-term ways to reduce it in your life, not simply cover it up.

Just my simple thoughts on the subject, but please share yours and pass this along to your friends who might have an opinion as well. Can’t wait to hear what you think and would love to know…

How do you reduce stress?

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Growing up as the daughter of a Southern Baptist minister, I learned early on the meaning of the phrase, “Don’t talk back!” Well, maybe not as early on as my dad would have liked, but after hearing it for the umpteenth time it did finally sink in…a little. And now that I have a child of my own, I have had several full circle moments of hearing myself utter those very same words. Words that, of course, I swore I’d never say.

But you’re not my teenager and I’m not your parent, so that changes the dynamic quite a bit.

In the relationship I have with you, my blog reader, I very much want to hear a little back talk—make that feedback, so here’s what I’m asking for today.

Let me hear from you. Tell me about your greatest concern or biggest question when it comes to your own personal level of wellness.

How are you…really?

• Are you doing great physically, but struggling to find meaning in your life?
• Is your body acting strangely, but refusing your best efforts to heal it?
• Do you constantly doubt your abilities while watching your friends succeed all around you?
• How well are you coping with the chicken-little-sky-is-falling fears that creep in every time you watch the evening news?

As a Life Coach it’s my job to help, to guide, to teach effective tools that you can put into your tool belt and pull out when needed to make any necessary repairs in your daily life. But how can I help, if I don’t really know you’re struggles?

So please, tell me. What are the pressing wellness questions on your mind?

And one last thing…thanks for sharing. I mean it.

P.S. If you prefer to share privately, send an e-mail to yvette@y-wellness.com

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As I began my meditation practice this morning, my mind was drawn to clients I work with who are struggling with issues of anxiety. You see I know this struggle well because for many years, I too suffered from anxious thoughts over things both large and small. While I believe there are numerous contributing factors to anxious thoughts and patterns of behavior–caffeine, TV news, hormonal imbalance or as they classify it in Ayurveda “too much vata,” I know from experience that what it most often boils down to is “stinking thinking” and that working on your thoughts can provide instant relief.

There are several methods for addressing your anxious thoughts such as Bryon Katie’s, The Work or Wayne Dyer’s version that he describes in his new book, “Excuses Be Gone” and I’ve used various forms of these methods on myself and my clients with “great success,” to quote Borat. But my new favorite method for dealing with anxiety and perfectionism, which I find seem to go hand in hand, is to ask, “In every moment am I choosing what energizes and excites me?” I can just hear those anxiety prone ones among you saying, “Oh if it were only that easy.” But stay with me and maybe you’ll see that it is.

As I mentioned earlier, this topic of dealing with anxiety was on my mind this morning as I sat for my morning meditation, which by the way is a great exercise for quieting anxiety. It is my practice to use quotes, inspirational passages and the like as a focus point each day. Today I pulled a card from a Law of Attraction card deck  “Ask and it is Given” created by Abraham-Hicks.

This is what it said, “My Slightest Improvement Is of Such Great Value: There is tremendous value when you are able to deliberately cause even the slightest improvement in the way you feel for even in that small emotional improvement, you may have regained a measure of control. You no longer feel powerless. And so, your trek back up the Emotional Scale is now not only possible, but it is relatively easy.”

So how does this relate to “In every moment choose what energizes and excites you”? Well, it’s like this…the more you choose to focus on things that energize and excite you, the more the things that energize and excite you will show up in your life rather than the things that make you feel anxious. Again, I realize that there are many factors that can contribute to the monkey minded state of those plagued with anxiety, but this is a method you can use any time, any where to bring yourself some relief. And I’ve found that the more you use it, the better you get at it and the better you get at focusing on things that bring you joy rather than things that make you feel anxious, the more joy producing things will begin to show up in your existence. But don’t take my word for it; try it.

Here’s how it works:

Situation: OMG! My house is a wreck! I’ll never get it in order. STOP and ask…

Q: Do I mop the floor first or wash the dishes?
A: Whichever feels more exciting in this moment.

Situation: How can it be bedtime already, I still have a million things on my “To Do” list. STOP and ask…

Q: Do I read a bedtime story to my child or get to that paperwork still on my desk? (Or maybe just tuck myself in as well as my child and let’s all get some rest!)
A: Whichever feels more energizing and exciting right now.

Situation: I’ve been working on this project all week and I don’t seem to be accomplishing anything. STOP and ask…

Q: Do I sit at my desk and work through lunch again or do I ask a co-worker whom I enjoy to join me for a bite?
A: Whichever feels the most exciting.

In the end, you’ll probably be more productive because you’ve allowed your mind to relax and quiet, which will help you to focus and work better when you really need to.

If you are struggling to choose, go inside and ask your body. It never lies, but that’s a whole other blog post. Stay tuned. (But only if it feels energizing and exciting. LOL!)

Above all be easy with this process and remember as the card says, “even a slight improvement is of great value.” You may not get to choosing only “energizing and exciting” at every turn in one day, one week, or even one month; but moving even a slight bit away from feelings of entrapment and powerlessness is a move in the right direction. Celebrate that!

get more info about Ayurvedic medicine from an expert,
Dr. John Douillard www.lifespa.com

experience instant thought relief at www.thework.com

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